My First Triathlon

Howdy Folks, it's been a while, hasn't it? Forgive my abrupt blog stoppage. I know many of you cried yourself to sleep night after night not knowing what was going on in my life. That, or maybe you found better things to consumer your life with, like Justin Bieber or something awesome.
Anywho, I ran in the Caveman Sprint Triathlon this past weekend in Flower Mound, Tx. I finished 358th out of 550 people, coming in at 1 hour and 33 minutes. I learned a lot of things (both good and bad) from doing this bucket-list event. Here are a few of each:

Do's

1. Train - don't be like me and swim one time the week of the race and think you have secret fish gils that they won't detect at the start line.
2. Have Fun - I had a smile on my face the whole time because I had so much fun. I wasn't there to be competitive as much as I just wanted to finish without stopping and I did that!
3. Go with a friend - I ran this race with Michelle Reed (aka Reeder) and we had a blast going to Dallas the day before and seeing each other at the finish line.

Don'ts

1. Bring your mountain bike - this wasn't a huge deal, but I know it made a difference in how much energy I used compared to those people that looked effortless on their streamline road bikes.
2. Wear a brief style swim suit - everyone and their mom had knee length swim suits except for the idiot from Lindale (aka me). My white man thighs were like a beacon of light and instantly showed everyone this was my first time running a triathlon.
3. Think you're slow just because you've never done a triathlon before - I woefully underscored my ability when predicting my times and because of that, I had to wait a couple hours to actually start the race. So basically, I had to sit around in my brief style suit around others who looked legit.

All in all, it was a blast and I've already started looking for the next race to do. I'm thinking I'd like to do an Olympic Triathlon next, which is basically a double of everything we did this weekend. EVERYONE SHOULD DO A TRIATHLON!

If I Were Billy Mays

You know him, you love him, you hate him: He is Billy Mays.

He's the guy that can sell anything during a commercial break that will make you forget what you were watching in the first place. He's the guy that is so loud that you have to turn down the volume and then remember to put it back up when the next commercial comes. He's the guy that makes everyday things easier with the latest gadget or device to make you just a little bit lazier. And for some reason, he never seems to be happy with offering you one product. You can bet your life that he'll say, "But wait, order right now and we'll double your order for FREE!!!!!!"

So I'm thinking to myself, if I were Billy Mays, what would I try and sell the world. So I thought about the things that make my life so awesome that I would make a TV commercial for. Here's what I personally own and would recommend in a heartbeat:

1. A Fleece Bathrobe - I'm convinced that when God rested on the 7th day, He probably wore this comfy piece of awesomeness
2. Black and Decker Dust Buster - I have wood floors, which seem to never stay clean. It's as if the wood turns into dirt when I wipe over them with a broom. But alas, the Dust Buster is my trusty right hand device that has not let me down with it's amazing sucking action (no that's what she said jokes....Billy would never stoop that low)
3. The Griddle - I didn't put a brand name down for this because they are all amazing. It's like trying to decide which twin is prettier. Seriously though folks, everyone should own one or boring food will own you!
4. 4' x 8' White Board - This larger than life dry erase board has donned my walls in houses and offices. Why have a 4' x 6' when you can get a bigger one. I like to think the size of your dry erase board is indicative of how big your ideas and dreams are. So for you losers who have that little dinky magnetic board on your fridge, get a hold of yourself and treat yourself. They are only $13 at Lowe's.
5. Hand Held Dish Scrubber - the one that you put dish soap into and you can squeeze it out and scrub at the same time. Who would have thought this cheap invention would ever bring so much joy to cleaning your dishes? God Bless you whoever thought this up. I haven't used my dishwasher nearly as much.

I think the one thing that bonds all of these incredible products is their price. None of these items cost me over $20. The mark of a true genius product. When I think about it, if I shell out $300 for something, I expect greatness. But when I spend $10 or $15, I find myself patting myself on the back for making such a good purchase. Some would call that maturity. I call it finding my inner Billy Mays. Thanks Billy for helping me to find the greatness in simple things like Oxyclean, Mighty Putty, The Awesome Auger, and The Hercules Hook. Keep blowing our ear drums until we call and order.

The Bachelor Lifestyle

Good People of the Internet, I've got an announcement:

I love being a Bachelor

I know that's not very groundbreaking information with the Stimulus Bill and A-Roid out there, but I wish everybody can experience this.  I also understand how juvenile and immature is sounds.  You may be saying to yourself, "Miami Mike, that's why you're still single".  And you know what, you're probably right.  But let me try and convince you why the Bachelor Lifestyle is the best thing that can happen to a guy:

1.  I am the Man of my own House: not only do i arrange everything in my house the way i want to, but i can also choose to NOT arrange it if I want to.  There are no rules with which I have to live by.  If I want to angle the TV so I can watch it from the kitchen or put a work out bench in my living room, then I can!  Things don't have to match, there doesn't have to be a theme.

2.  Wearing a Bathrobe and house slippers is acceptable all the time: I've realized these two inventions weren't just made for morning pleasure.  Nay!  They are the first thing I put on when I get home from work.

3.  Watching Sportscenter multiple times a day isn't a bad thing: things change so much in the Sports World that I have to keep up.  And filling the time in between with old episodes of The Office and Lost is approved.  If I could find a satellite package that just showed Sports, The Office, and Lost, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

4.  Having a huge Texas flag and 8 foot dry erase board is plenty enough for wall decor:  no paintings, no crosses, no pictures, etc.  What's the need?  See my first point for any further explanation.

5.  I can logically back up almost everything I do/say/need: this is something I've learned over time.  For example, I recently bought a brand new comforter for my queen bed.  It's a Ralph Lauren Polo comforter and I got it on sale for $30.  The only catch is, it's a Twin sized comforter.  Big mistake, right?  NO!  Why buy a queen size when all I need is a twin size?  Plus, the queen size was over $100.  The person at the register didn't share my opinion, but she's not a Bachelor.  How could she understand this bargain?  The beauty of being a Bachelor is that you don't have to fit inside a box.  Things happen the way you want, not the way Society tells.

These things may not resonate with you, but hey, you may not be a Bachelor.  The list I just presented is just the tip of the iceberg.  As I see them develop, I'll be sure to write them down and share them with you.

As for the ladies, this list probably doesn't impress you in the least bit.  But that's okay.  You're built for marriage.  A Bachelor is built for dominating the single life.  Bachelors aren't looking for approval.  We're looking for the next freaking awesome thing to add to our life.  One day this will all change and I will have nothing else to add to my life but a beautiful woman.  But for now, God has me loving the Bachelor Life.  I hope you can enjoy it too.

Miami Mike's on the move.......

To Europe baby!!!!  My gracious boss let me loose for about 12 days so I'm hopping on  a plane and taking in London, Rome, and Paris.  Freakin Booyah, I know.

I'm in the process of planning the trip right now so I can be organized and really take in as much as possible.

Any suggestions, good people of the internet?  Do tell!

For All those Who Need a Visual......

This is what Miami Mike looks like with a Fu Manchu.  If you're confused, read the blog below

Sometimes you just don't fit in

I recently tried an experiment.  It wasn't conducted in lab and I definitely didn't follow the Scientific Method that I used to teach kids in OE (Outdoor Education).

I only used 2 things: a razor and some confidence.

Relax, all my skin is intact and I'm not having suicidal thoughts up here on Tick Hill.  

After participating in No-Shave-November, my beard was really starting to get to me.  But instead of shaving it all off and fitting in nicely with society, I decided to try out the "Fu Manchu".  My goal was to see if people would take me seriously with this trimmed set of Handle Bars on my face.  I didn't change anything else about myself.  I wore the same clothes and acted normal.  Here's what I discovered:

1. People stared.............a lot.  You would have thought I had two arms growing out of my nostrils with some of the intense glances I got.  
   
2. It doesn't fit with my job.  I deal primarily with Youth Pastors, who are infamous for the Soul Patch, Goatee, Chin Straps, etc.  But the Fu screams out, I'M LIVIN ON THE EDGE!!
   
3. Other than Cops and Truck Drivers, no one else had one........which made me stick out like a traffic cone.
4. People thought I was joking at first, but when they saw that I was serious about it, situations got awkward.  Classic example of a Snickers commercial, "Want to get away?"

The only other time I've felt out of place was when I went to Kenya for a month and little black kids would stare at me and tug at any kind of hair within reach.  I felt more like a God than anything else.  They were fascinated.  But evidently I took it too far in the Northeast Corner of Oklahoma, where cut off shirts and mullets still reign supreme. 

Some Inspiring Words

I have this song that I cannot stop listening to because the lyrics haunt me and inspire me at the same time. Many of you know my friend Spencer was a musician (he passed away over a year ago) and how much his music means to me. Well, I got a hold of some music I hadn't heard in a while and I thought I'd share a certain part.

It comes from the song, "So Long Goodbyes".

And you're screaming down a hole that cannot hold your well informed diatribes
Your search for hope is buried low beneath the load of your burning critic eyes
You're happy with comfortable life, but I would cry some tears to see you come alive
And behind it all not scared to fall, but wondering what would happen if you could fly......

And don't you know that could fly?

So say so long to those goodbyes, that you have said so many times before.......
And you're saying them once again
Now turn around and break the trend, face the sun, and lean into the wind......
And the wind of change can be your friend
My friend now say hello to life and hope and second chances that you could never win......
That's why they're not worth it all
So fill the whole and walk away, show them mistakes and grace go hand in hand.


To me, it's such a powerful song that always reminds me of God and how he wants me to live my life. I hope you find something in the songs that you listen to as well.