Love & Hate

I love God.  A whole lot.  He shows himself in the craziest ways and craves my attention and passion and obedience.  But gosh, I suck at doing that full time.

As sure as the sun rises and the seasons change, my attention and focus shift from God to useless stupid things.  I'm guilty of being a habitual person.  Literally, when I find something I like, I just continue to do it, regardless of how old it gets.  I do it with food, music, clothes, routines, etc.  The only time I'll change it is when I'm either forced to or someone shows me a new cool thing to shift my focus.  So I love my habits, but then I also hate them.  Dumb, I know.

Let me give you an example of what I'm currently pushing through:  This whole summer I've been on fire for our ministry up here at Cave Springs.  Getting up was never a problem, starting my day with prayer and coffee, and then heading in to greet people and serve like a mad man til later that night.  And then get up and do it all over again.  It was beautiful.  Nothing broke, not too many hiccups, I got to work with amazing people, and Churches were having amazing times.

But this week has absolutely sucked.  It's been one of those weeks where things just don't happen like they normally do.  And I promise I'm not naive enough to think everything should be constant.  But things just started breaking, I tore open my knee on a rock, activities didn't run like they should, I had no amazing staff by my side, and worst of all, I just became more and more frustrated with each little thing.  Today, I just stopped what I was doing because I was about to punch a hole in the wall.  I sat and just vented to the wall about what I was pissed about.  Pretty pathetic, I know.  But it's even more pathetic that a week ago I was singing praises and now I'm yelling at the top of my lungs  because things aren't the way I'm used to.

I realize this is part of life.  I get that.  We live in a broken world and I'm a sinner which don't really go well together.

This may have made no sense to you.  Maybe I just needed to vent to something other than a wall.  On a side note, I'm not pissed anymore.  I will be again one day, but not tomorrow.  Weird.

Seasons

There are Seasons for everything.

Solomon mapped out virtually everything a person can go through over the course of their lives when he wrote Ecclesiastes. And he is still spot on to this day.

I happen to live through some seasons myself. Granted, the seasons I go through are pretty planned out in terms of what I expect. There's the Fall, Winter, and Springs Retreat Seasons.

And then there's the Summer Season. For the last 4 years of my life, I feel like most of my time is spent prepping for the Summer Season. Obviously, I work in a ministry dominated by kids craving the summer experience and churches seeking to unleash a week of fun and small group discussions. But then it ends. Just like that. Yesterday, it ended for me. For anyone who has ever worked at a summer camp, you know what I'm talking about. Reality hits when you drive away from camp. The reality that you won't have to eat the same food every week, clean the same dorms, work the same activity, lifeguard, share one bathroom for 10 people, etc. The list goes on and on.

But I can't just sit here and try and relive all memories I had. Of course I will keep up with everyone. But more importantly, this new season is an opportunity for me to try something new with my life. Here are some things I want to do in this Fall Season:

Build a deck for my house
Finally learn to play the guitar (already started this one, thanks to Taylor)
Run 5 miles on a consistent basis
Cook

So there it is. As somber as this time of the year is for me, I've got to recharge for the next Season of my life. If you have any suggestions for something else I can try and do, send them my way. I'm up for almost anything.

A Heavy Dose of Reality

As you might have heard earlier this past weekend, Northeast Oklahoma was hit hard by two crazy big tornadoes.  Picher, OK took the brunt of the two twisters and pretty much decimated the small town of a 1,000 or so people.  And in case you're wondering where we are in relation to that, it's only about 4 miles.  4 very small miles that can change your perception on just how lucky you are.

It was almost 6pm when Rudy (our wrangler up here at Cave Springs) called me on the radio telling me to step outside and take a gander at what was heading our direction.  As I looked to the sky, I saw blackness and the remnants of 2 tornadoes that had just dissipated and went back up into the sky, effectively skipping right over the camp and saving us from utter destruction.  My first thoughts were, "dang, I didn't get to see it actually on the ground moving."  But those thoughts changed quickly when I imagined what might have been.  It's kind of weird because I think in reality, all of is would like to witness something like this because of the sheer magnitude and power of something we can't control or stop.  When I lived on the East Coast, it was the same way with hurricanes.  You always thought they were cool from a distance, but once they got close to you, you were scared and praying for mercy upon whatever the storm touched.

So after all that going through my head, my thoughts turned to who did take the hit of those 2 tornadoes, which the Meteorologists tagged with Class 4 classifications (the highest is 5).  In the next 10-20 minutes, people were calling us asking if we were okay and going through their own checklists of who they have called and heard from.  The lone person no one had heard from was Dana Kelly, our Director of Food Services at camp.

Moving forward a couple days to today, Rudy and I drove out to her house and witnessed the devastation of Picher.  Dana lived right in the path of the tornadoes and her house was hit hard.  Although, she didn't take nearly as much pounding as her neighbors.  Only about 100 yards behind her house, 6 people died in an area that was cluttered with empty places where houses once stood.  Where memories had been made by families that once lived there.  Just driving there, it was hard to take it all in and then comprehend the fact that I still have everything.  We drove past one house where a man was literally sitting there staring at this huge pile of rubble that I can only assume was once a place of security, happiness, and bliss.  But he was just sitting there staring at it.  And here I am driving through all this staring as well, but with no loss.  Well, I take that back.  A loss for words.  

We got Dana's things all packed up and luckily, all of her major appliances were still in working order.  Now she literally has to abandon her house so that insurance people and FEMA can come in and inspect.  I felt like a huge idiot when I asked her what her next move was.  She responded with, "I don't know" and it seemed to be sufficient.  How do you know in a time like this when in a matter of 10 minutes, everything is stripped from you?  Fortunately, she has a place to stay and is ready to move past this whole mess.

I'm sorry if this was a depressing post.  But it was something that hit me really hard and something I will never forget.

Bedside Tables Poll

What the heck do I put in a Bedside Table?

I just recently bought some pretty nice furniture and thought I was all grown up until I came to this conundrum. I feel like an idiot with these nice matching tables and yet, I don't do anything with them.

If you know anything about me, I love to be efficient and everytime I see them, I hate myself for buying them because they don't do anything for me. All I use them for is setting my clock and phone on at night. In my ridiculous mindset, something has to be done about this. I thought about putting a Bible in there but then thought it was stupid because I felt like I was a Gideon trying to fill a hotel full of the Good Book.

So here's my idea: You tell me what to put in there.

I'll let whoever responds to this post figure out this dilemma. Now, let's be reasonable here kids. I'm not stuffing a gorilla or something stupid in there. But give me some suggestions here.

It's killing me.

Help a brotha out.

Miami Mike turns 45 earlier than expected!!!!

Howdy folks, it's time for another rousing rendition of Tales from Oklahoma.  These Tales gives you a taste of what its like to live in the Okie State.

As many of you know, I switched my Driver's License over to an Okie license but in the process, got a little more than i paid for ($22.50 by the way for a license).  After having it only a week, it was brought to my attention by some amazing colleagues down in East Texas that my birth date was wrong.  I thought they were messing with me, but alas, they were not and the birth date they listed for me was August 11, 1962.

If you're like me, you did the obvious thing and went back to the Drivers License Office and told them about all the Hullabaloo.  Here's an account of what went down between me and the four Ladies behind the counter:

Me: Howdy Ladies, my name is Mike and I seem to have a problem with my Driver's License.

The Ladies: Well, what seems to be the problem sir?

Me: Well, it says here on my drivers license that I was born in 1962.  (a few moments of awkward silence and confusion ensued)

The Ladies: So what's wrong?

Me: Well Ma'am, I'm not 45.  I'm only 25.  (more awkward silence)

The Ladies: Well, what do you want us to?

Me (very calmly): Give me a new Driver's License

The Ladies: We can't do that here

Me: But this is where I got it in the first place

The Ladies: Yes, but if the system has you down as a 45 year old man, then you have to go to a Sheriff on either a Tuesday or Wednesday and get it worked out there (It is Monday).

Me: Why a Sheriff, this is the Driver's License Office?

The Ladies: Because it's illegal to access information from people's files.

Me: You don't have to access anything, I can prove right here and now that I'm only 25 (I preceded to show them 2 old driver licenses, a birth certificate, and an old military ID)

The Ladies: We can't accept those documents, they've all expired and the Birth Certificate is a copy, not the original.

Me (becoming a little more frustrated): Yes Ma'am, a copy of the original, which states my birthday along with every single source I've shown you.

The Ladies (becoming a little upset with me): I'm sorry Honey, there's nothing we can do here.

Me: Well what if I can't make it over to the Sheriff's tomorrow or Wednesday?

The Ladies: I'd drive really careful because if you get pulled over, they could arrest you.

Me (obviously frustrated): I would get arrested because a small error like this?  

The Ladies: Yes Sir, it's a big deal to have false information on your ID.

Me (beyond frustrated and staring at the ceiling knowing that no matter what I said, they wouldn't budge): Don't you think this whole thing is a bit silly?

The Ladies: Yes Sir, but it's Oklahoma.

Me: Does everything happen like this in Oklahoma (I kind of wished I hadn't said that)

The Ladies (cheerfully I might add): Yep.

Me: Well let's hope I don't get arrested in the next week or two.

The Ladies: Good luck!

God Bless Oklahoma and its many servants.

How Much Does Music Influence You?

So while I was driving today, I decided to turn off the iPod (sorry Apple) and check out the local flavors of AM/FM radio.  While scanning the waves, I came upon a Christian Soft Rock station that immediately made me want to change it because I don't really get into that kind of stuff.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love Relient K, Shawn Mcdonald, Souldancefree, David Crowder, etc.  But much of the "Christian" music today and of years past just seems really cheesy and cookie cutter.  So, while looking for a new radio station, I stopped at one playing some old school Third Eye Blind, one of my favorite bands.  And it occurred to me that I switched from a song about Jesus to a song about crystal meth and was not at all phased by it.  

Does this make me a bad person?  Of course not, I get that.  

Or how about this: I went to church this past weekend and the pastor asked the congregation what they surround themselves with; do they watch R movies, listen to "bad" music, hang out with trouble makers, drink, etc.  To me, that sounds more like, "Are you building a bubble so that nothing can come in and get you?"  I don't want to live like that personally.  I think it stems from the notion that people think what you listen to or watch is what you will become.  So if I watch a R movie I will go on a killing spree or go to strip clubs (not that all the R movies I watch pertain to that by the way, just an example!).

I believe this is more so related to maturity and self awareness.  Now, I know I am not the poster child for maturity, but I'm not going to let a song or movie or beverage control me or what I can become.  I understand it happens though, which is why I heard that sermon on why I should rid myself of all that stuff.  But why can't Christians understand why some of us can hear a non-Christian song and be okay with it?  Or drink a beer and not become a drunk and so on and so forth?

I honestly left church feeling a little bit guilty because when the pastor went off on that rant of things you shouldn't do, I might have been the only one in the 1,000 seat auditorium not nodding my head in agreement.

I don't consider myself a rebel, but I kind of felt like one that Sunday.  Anyone have any thoughts?

Miami Mike gets domesticated

Well, I did it.  I went furniture shopping today for my house I'm about to move in to.  I feel like I aged 10 years by looking at bedroom sets and desks and living room sets all day, but its necessary considering I own absolutely zero pieces of furniture.  So I sold my young soul and became a Yuppie.  Is that bad?

Here's what I got.......

Queen size bed (pillow top suckas!)

Sleigh Bed frame

Dresser

End Tables

Desk

Coffee Table

Now, I obviously didn't buy all this.  I'll pay it off over the next years.  It felt so weird doing all this as I constantly called my parents to make sure I wasn't getting ripped off.  But the good news is I am finally growing up and will have nice stuff.  I'm used to cinder block tables and single beds that just lay on the floor.

Now obviously, this will probably all be thrown out when I get married.........if I get married.  But for now, I like it.  

Is this lame that I spent a good 7 hours looking at furniture today?