Sunday, April 13, 2008

Miami Mike turns 45 earlier than expected!!!!


Howdy folks, it's time for another rousing rendition of Tales from Oklahoma.  These Tales gives you a taste of what its like to live in the Okie State.

As many of you know, I switched my Driver's License over to an Okie license but in the process, got a little more than i paid for ($22.50 by the way for a license).  After having it only a week, it was brought to my attention by some amazing colleagues down in East Texas that my birth date was wrong.  I thought they were messing with me, but alas, they were not and the birth date they listed for me was August 11, 1962.
If you're like me, you did the obvious thing and went back to the Drivers License Office and told them about all the Hullabaloo.  Here's an account of what went down between me and the four Ladies behind the counter:
Me: Howdy Ladies, my name is Mike and I seem to have a problem with my Driver's License.
The Ladies: Well, what seems to be the problem sir?
Me: Well, it says here on my drivers license that I was born in 1962.  (a few moments of awkward silence and confusion ensued)
The Ladies: So what's wrong?
Me: Well Ma'am, I'm not 45.  I'm only 25.  (more awkward silence)
The Ladies: Well, what do you want us to?
Me (very calmly): Give me a new Driver's License
The Ladies: We can't do that here
Me: But this is where I got it in the first place
The Ladies: Yes, but if the system has you down as a 45 year old man, then you have to go to a Sheriff on either a Tuesday or Wednesday and get it worked out there (It is Monday).
Me: Why a Sheriff, this is the Driver's License Office?
The Ladies: Because it's illegal to access information from people's files.
Me: You don't have to access anything, I can prove right here and now that I'm only 25 (I preceded to show them 2 old driver licenses, a birth certificate, and an old military ID)
The Ladies: We can't accept those documents, they've all expired and the Birth Certificate is a copy, not the original.
Me (becoming a little more frustrated): Yes Ma'am, a copy of the original, which states my birthday along with every single source I've shown you.
The Ladies (becoming a little upset with me): I'm sorry Honey, there's nothing we can do here.
Me: Well what if I can't make it over to the Sheriff's tomorrow or Wednesday?
The Ladies: I'd drive really careful because if you get pulled over, they could arrest you.
Me (obviously frustrated): I would get arrested because a small error like this?  
The Ladies: Yes Sir, it's a big deal to have false information on your ID.
Me (beyond frustrated and staring at the ceiling knowing that no matter what I said, they wouldn't budge): Don't you think this whole thing is a bit silly?
The Ladies: Yes Sir, but it's Oklahoma.
Me: Does everything happen like this in Oklahoma (I kind of wished I hadn't said that)
The Ladies (cheerfully I might add): Yep.
Me: Well let's hope I don't get arrested in the next week or two.
The Ladies: Good luck!
God Bless Oklahoma and its many servants.

5 comments:

CourtneyHope said...

that... is amazing.

i guess if you think about it, turning 45 earlier than expected means that you can experience your mid-life crisis earlier than expected... and who doesn't want to do that?

Hello... fast cars and pretty ladies... it doesn't get much better than that (if you're a 45 year old man, apparently)

growingfreely said...

oh my 'lanta...

i mean...wow. is there a way you can get a subscription to the weekly happenings in oklahoma? a mailer or something? you won't want to miss things like when it's okay to wake up and such.

david said...

you should have told them a story about how things were done back in your day.

Shannon Kelly said...

Why doesn't Texas fall into the Gulf of Mexico?

Oklahoma sucks so much!

gotta love bureaucracy.

dont blink. said...

Happy Birthday! We need to have an over the hill party!! its should be themed...